who do you think you are, i am
it is probably the case that i'm overthinking this moment in my life as some crucial turning point. yes, i am jobless, and yes, i'm also pretty much connectionless. yes, i could be recruited into like the CIA and no one would know the difference. yes, i could turn myself into a nationally renowned florist. yes, i could sell my house and become a cryptid on the Appalachian Trail. yes, i could go get another software job, probably.
(yes, that job probably involves managing "developer performance" which is shorthand for "we spent too much on AI and the shareholders demand sacrifice")
yes, i could become a line cook probably. at least at a bad restaurant. i could probably go be a drug dealer of some kind (fulfilling kelly's 5th grade prediction that i'd end up the biggest weed dealer in Pennsylvania). yes, i could go network with a bunch of people who, like me, are lost in a sea of cancerous opportunities and unstable social contracts. yes, i could become a writer.
look at me! i'm writing right now. i think in this context, however, i'm more like, talking about a professional direction i can head in which will allow me to maintain my lifestyle of air conditioning and bagel bites and my dog robert getting fancy treats. so yes, i guess i could try to revamp all of what i am into something new. there's not an entirely huge amount of time left in my watch spring all things considered. i kind of already invested quite a bit into this professional direction. and would anything else really be more fulfilling?
yes, i suppose something might be, in like, the literal sense. yes, i hate everything i've tried so far. yes, i resent having to earn my life day after day. yes, making money for shareholders while i survive is distasteful. yes, if I could I would do nothing.
only after doing nothing for forever do i ever find something i want to do. yes, find something i want to do. yes, find something i want to do. yes, find it. find it, yes. yes.
listening to: